I live in a competitive town.  People like to have their child be the best.  Best at sports, best in academics, best in music, best, best, best. I no longer care.  That sounds harsh but let me explain.  I no longer care what anyone else's child does or my friends do.  I realize that where my child is academically, on the field, on the team...it's not a reflection of me or her.  This is a HUGE step and process for me.  I am competitive.  I like to win.  I like to see my child do well.  I partake in gossip.  And, I decided today, that this makes me a poor role model for my 14 year old.

Why change at 45?  I've been this way for quite awhile.  Could easily continue on in the same mode.  However, as I ponder the Lenten season and what to give up and how to make myself a better person, I realized that this thought keeps coming back and yet, I fail.  Fail miserably, year after year, to maintain this idea of making myself better.  So a blog is started...I don't know if anyone will even read it.  However, it's my accountability tracker.

This process goes beyond me.  I shared my thoughts with the youngest child. I let her know that mainly, I am happy if SHE is happy.  After 2 significant ankle injuries, it really is enough to just see her on the field!  I get a quiet thrill watching her excel in a class she thinks is difficult. I just enjoy being her mom. I feel bad that this change of attitude comes so late.  I certainly couldn't take this approach with the older 2 although I am so proud of the young people they are turning out to be, in spite of my short-comings.  They are, quite honestly, AMAZING!

So I will share this new attitude/approach with them.  I will share with my friends. I've shared it with my husband.  Everyone needs to help me be a better person.  This is for me (my personal happiness and attitude), for my children and for my marriage.  Negativity no longer can reside inside my head or come out of my mouth.


So, welcome!  I hope you enjoy following my quest to be a better person.  It's never too late!